I hit the diner after 1, so the lunch rush was over and I could have just a soda. (With 13 seats, an inside seat is reserved for eating customers during peak hours.)

Gary (the owner) was in top form, relaxed, and fun, teasing the customers, who give as good as they get.

“That’s right. I wouldn’t let her get her sticker and candy.” Pretty rough on a little girl, don’t you think? “You mean you made her cry?” Yes. Gary made her cry. But he says the next time she came in he offered to help her finish her food, but she put her fists on her hips and said she’d do it herself. And she did.

Gary’s tough, but he has a huge soft spot for kids.

Mark, a reporter at the local newspaper, complained that he hadn’t had sex in so long he couldn’t remember who got tied up. Gary: “Your sister, man.” Gary has issues with family.

But his family is speaking to him again, after finally realizing that he is a great athlete and has quite a following. Well, duh. Everyone else knew that. Why is your family always the last to know?

And Gary has broken up with his girlfriend (let’s call her Stalker3) again. Stalker3 is taking it well, calling him several times a day, showing up at the diner every morning, and telling him that her kids miss him. Nice touch, using the kids, don’t you think? Not HIS kids, by the way. I kind of wonder how long this breakup will last.

Some men are so dumb when it comes to women.