Diner Diaries

Life and Times of a Patron of the King's Chef diner

Tuesday, December 17, 2002

Yesterday I squeezed into the last open seat, between a cute, slim man to my left and an older graying gentleman to my right. DUI was at the far end of the counter with two of her friends Trish the Dish and Heather.

Slim’s friend, #87, was initiating him properly. His manhood being questioned for ordering a half, Slim had relented and ordered the full Grump. (This is the hashed brown, eggs, meat, gravy and cheese dish which could keep a small army alive through a long harsh northern winter.)

It’s always fun to watch a diner virgin experience his first time, and Slim got the best of it--diner full and Gary and Dave working all out to keep up. Gary is still enjoying the huge card I made him for his birthday and left for all the diners to sign. I guess some of it was fun. I still apologize for the caricature.

Slim plowed into his meal, after determining that quitting was not an option, and although it was tough, he stated, “This will not beat me.” His buddy had no sympathy. “You said you were hungry.” “Not Ethiopia hungry!” Slim was still groaning as he walked out the door.

Gary is carrying on a flirtation with DUI. Now what’s wrong with this picture? Ah, I get it. In some ways guys are like girls. Some girls always pick the Wrong One. And some guys, well, I guess they see the writing on the wall, but they think it says “This Way” instead of “Rough Road Ahead.” Diner’s closed.

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